Mental Health for Family Caregivers
It may be the 21st century, but the stigma around mental health still abounds. While candid public personas such as Kim Kardashian, Prince Harry, and Meghan Markle have more recently come forward about it, talking about depression, anxiety, panic attacks, burnout, and the like is uncomfortable for most people. What’s more, expressing mental health issues can have unfortunate and often unwarranted repercussions—even among family and friends. The stigma remains.
Depression
Caregiving involves an intimate mental and emotional connection with a family member, someone who, given his or her age and complications, can become completely dependent on so many levels. While the family caregiver’s rewards can be great, when responsible for someone’s life the toll can be just as great. And what if a family caregiver assumes the role with mental health considerations to begin with, such as depression, which statistics say a whopping 16.2 million of us suffer from in the United States alone?
“I’ve been dealing with depression off and on for a few years,” said Nancy B., single mom of two and professional caregiver of 15 years from Orange, NJ. “Often I can manage it with exercise and healthy diet, but on occasion I go through a period of a few months or more when my doctor puts me on antidepressants which seem to do the trick. To feel good and get back on track, though, I have to be just as vigilant about taking my medication as I make sure my clients are about taking theirs.”
In the past, however, when things have become hectic, she admits she’s tended to prioritize the needs of her clients and family above her own. “I’ve learned from experience this is never a good situation, and reaching out to a counselor has helped me put things back in perspective,” Nancy said. “It’s been a learning process, but I’ve come to understand more and not feel guilty about taking care of myself. It’s the old analogy about putting on your oxygen mask first on a plane—then you can be fully available to help others.”
Establishing Boundaries
Among the items on which caregivers can focus is establishing boundaries. Too much is too much, says the adage, so feeling empowered to say not now, or just plain no, can work wonders in heading off a burden at the pass. Adding yet another task to a “to do” list can overwhelm an already exploding schedule, one that many of us maintain, and a polite but firm no can mean the difference between peace, self-esteem, and spiraling down a difficult path.
Prioritizing “You” Time
Almost nothing empties a too-full mental bucket like a great escape. This doesn’t have to be complicated, taking the form of an hour spent on a favorite hobby, fun exercise routine, spending time with someone in a cherished relationship (where you are not the caregiver), enjoying the outdoors, going to the movies, listening to music, meditating, cooking a new recipe, etc. Recognizing that you matter just as much as everyone else and unconditionally scheduling in that time can affect how you see the world and your role in it.
