Parenting Tips for Family Caregivers

Sources say the average family caregiver spends 32 hours a week caring for a loved one.  That’s almost the equivalent of a second fulltime job, or perhaps it’s more accurate to say a third fulltime job, as many people are (1) already working and (2) raising a family.  

Commonly known as the “sandwich generation,” females in the 35-54 age group are said to experience more stress than any other age group according to the American Psychological Association (APA). This level of chronic stress significantly impacts health, professional life, personal relationships, and more. 

So what steps can you take to manage the inevitable stress that comes with the territory? 

First, is there something you’ve not thought of delegating that you’ve always just automatically done yourself? Can you reassign it, even on a trial basis, to an age-appropriate family member? Kids of all ages can learn to appreciate sharing cooking, vacuuming, and laundry chores, for example, in exchange for additional privileges and a calmer, more available parent.  

Next, can you creatively schedule even a few minutes, a few times a week, for a brisk walk, yoga (so much is available on DVDs and YouTube), a swim at the local pool, or time in the park? Doing these activities with your family can strengthen that bond. Some family caregivers are wary about delegating, but enlisting the help of a professional caregiver even a few times a week can free you up to reconnect with your children and yourself. Cooking together, a shopping trip, sporting event, or out to a movie—anything that trumpets “relax and have fun”—can reinforce the family bond, allowing for better communication and understanding when things get tense and people are tired or overwhelmed. 

Meals, Snacks, and Blood Sugar 

Though it may be easier said than done, taking a few minutes to identify healthy coping mechanisms can mean the difference between a good night’s sleep and something less. Excess caffeine, processed foods, and snacks high in fat and sugar may be quick energy fixes, but in the end they only add to your stress, not reduce it. Nutritionists recommend upping your protein intake at meals and eating frequent protein-rich snacks to keep blood sugar levels constant. Not experiencing the ups and downs of low blood sugar can help you better handle the ups and downs of caregiving. 

Models 

Something to keep in mind is the APA says that by nature, mothers tend to place everyone else’s needs above their own, which is rarely a good situation. How she manages stress is actually a model for the rest of the family who may mirror her behavior. With that, the expectation of being flawless in all we do can add impossible pressure no one needs, especially not a family caregiver. So while you are exploring new family protocols and procedures, take a step back and let yourself off the hook if something doesn’t work. There’s always the next idea, perhaps something the entire family can come up with together.