Parenting Tips for Professional Caregivers
As a professional caregiver, job requirements are multi-layered, with ongoing demands of a physical, mental, and emotional nature. Being responsible for the welfare and well-being of a senior in your care can be all-consuming, forcing you to function on all four burners at once as the saying goes, perhaps unable to turn it off at home. Where family is concerned, needs and demands for your attention and energy once you walk in the door can be almost as great or even more so, putting you at risk for chronic physical and mental exhaustion and burnout.
So what steps can you take to manage the inevitable stress that comes with the job, and be present for your own family as well?
Boundaries
First, while down time may seem like someone else’s privilege, it’s really not a privilege at all. Without it—even a half-hour of “me” time to recover from the day and shift gears when you walk in the door—you risk depositing the stress and pressure of your job into your family’s lap, a bad situation for all involved.
To prevent this from happening, after a greeting and if a spouse or older children are involved, family needs to know you are going into your den or bedroom or home office—somewhere you can close a door, decompress, and be alone for 30 minutes—to sit, put your feet up, listen to music, read, meditate, or otherwise relax before tackling family chores. How do you do that and still get everything done? Is there something you’ve not thought of delegating that you’ve always just automatically done yourself? Can you reassign it, even on a trial basis, to an age-appropriate family member? Kids of all ages can learn to appreciate sharing the cooking, vacuuming, and laundry chores, for example, in exchange for additional privileges and a calmer, more available parent.
Always in caregiving mode and perhaps as a byproduct with a heightened sense of responsibility, some professional caregivers are wary about delegating. But you’d be surprised at what comes from teamwork, and what creative, fun, and exciting things can develop from a new way of approaching mundane tasks.
Activities
Next, can you creatively schedule even a few minutes, a few times a week, for a brisk walk, yoga (so much is available on DVDs and YouTube), a swim at the local pool, or time in the park? Because you have learned to delegate, opening up more time for fun and connecting, doing these activities with your family can strengthen that bond.
Meals, Snacks, and Blood Sugar
Though it may be easier said than done, taking a few minutes to identify healthy coping mechanisms can mean the difference between a good night’s sleep and something less. Excess caffeine, processed foods, and snacks high in fat and sugar may be quick energy fixes, but in the end they only add to your stress, not reduce it. Nutritionists recommend upping your protein intake at meals and eating frequent protein-rich snacks to keep blood sugar levels constant. Not experiencing the ups and downs of low blood sugar can help you better handle the ups and downs of family life.
Models
Something to keep in mind is the APA says that by nature, mothers tend to place everyone else’s needs above their own which is rarely a good situation. How she manages stress is actually a model for the rest of the family who may mirror her behavior. With that, the expectation of being flawless in all we do can add impossible pressure no one needs. So while you are exploring new family protocols and procedures, take a step back and let yourself off the hook if something doesn’t work. There’s always the next idea, perhaps something the entire family can come up with together.
